What smart people are silent about at work
On the one hand, it is impossible to build good relationships and succeed in networking without being open with your colleagues.
on the other hand, when you share various aspects of your life with others, do it in a smart way, carefully avoiding a number of topics that can negatively affect your relationships and even your career as a whole.
The ability to create a good impression of yourself among colleagues is a fine art. At work, people share their views and life experiences with the good purpose of building informal relationships with others.According to TalentSmart President and emotional intelligence coach Travis Bradberry, you need to be very careful when opening up different sides of yourself to your colleagues.
You need to clearly understand where the border between what can be discussed with colleagues and what should not be brought out in public, and learn not to cross this border, because the word, as you know,is not a Sparrow, you will not catch it.
TalentSmart surveyed more than a million people and found that the top tier of the most successful career respondents is 90% made up of people with a high level of emotional intelligence.
Travis Bradberry himself defines emotional intelligence as an almost elusive part of each of us that affects how we manage our own behavior, how well we are socialized, and how well we are able to make decisions that lead to positive results.
People with developed emotional intelligence are excellent at “reading” others, and this helps you understand what you need to share with colleagues, and what topics should not be touched on in any case.
So I’m drawn to discuss with colleagues the territorial affiliation of the Crimea, the problems of refugees in Europe, the bombing of Syria, Navalny’s political prospects, the features of the us and Russian presidents, and at the same time the German Chancellor? Not do this. Keep your political views to yourself. Especially if you think that they are the most correct.
According to Travis Bradberry, politics is the worst possible topic for discussion in the office.
Political views largely determine our identity, so this is a very personal topic, and it is almost impossible to talk about it at work without hurting someone’s feelings.
Disagreement with a different point of view in this case can unexpectedly and strongly affect the attitude of even the most sane colleague to you. Speaking out against someone’s core values is one of the most offensive things you can do outside of the work Protocol.
Of course, different people have different attitudes to political discussions. But any attempt to assert your values can just as easily alienate some people from you as it can intrigue others.
Often it is enough just to voice a hot topic, even without trying to defend your point of view, and this can easily lead to a conflict out of the blue.
People build their lives based on personal beliefs and ideals, and any attempt to add their five kopecks is extremely risky. It is better to be patient and listen to a colleague if he suddenly decided to share with you ideas about the world order. And don’t interrupt him, because any response other than full agreement with the speaker can start an unnecessary and completely unproductive conflict.
Political views are so deep inside their bearer that any attempt to change them, especially at work, will lead to condemnation rather than change someone’s views.
That you think someone is incompetent
In any office, there are always incompetent employees, and most likely everyone knows who they are. So if you don’t have enough authority to help them become more competent or fire them, then don’t talk about their ineptitude out loud.
From the outside, it looks like your awkward attempt to emphasize your own competence against someone else’s professional weakness. Your callousness will eventually hit you in the form of disapproval from colleagues.
How much money do you earn
Perhaps your parents or wife (husband) like to listen to your arguments on this topic, but refrain from voicing the amount of your salary in the workplace, even if your employment contract does not contain a clause about non-disclosure of this information. Nothing good will come of this, and it will not be forgotten like any other non-binding office chatter.
It is impossible to distribute wages in accordance with the ideas of fairness of each of the employees. And by disclosing your income data, you give your colleagues an unnecessary reason to compare.
Even if you take into account envy or slight Schadenfreude (in case your salary is lower than the colleague assumed), as soon as someone finds out exactly how much you earn, everything you do will be evaluated on the principle of
“is he worth the money?”, or even worse — “of course, he’s a hack, for his salary”, or quite bad — “what an idiot, so plow for these pennies!”.
So restrain the desire to exchange information about salary, bonuses and bonuses with your friend, because once you do, you will see each other in a slightly different light.
How much do you hate this job
The last thing anyone wants to hear is how much their colleague hates their job. When you complain, you label yourself as a negative person who refuses to play in the team and loudly declares it.
Such complaints are quite “toxic” and greatly reduce the positive mood in the team. Management very quickly calculates such whiners and, be sure, firmly believes that at any time can replace them with more interested in the work of personnel.
What are you doing in the bedroom
Whether your sex life is key or completely absent — this information has no place at work. These kinds of confessions make some colleagues giggle, but most definitely find them at least inappropriate, and sometimes just offensive. As soon as you cross this line-consider that you have already ruined your reputation.
It can only be worse if you think out loud that…
… Others do in the bedroom
You can say with almost 110% certainty that people in your job do not want to know exactly how you imagine their sexual exploits. Colleagues do not want to think that you represent them in any way.
The surest way to frighten a coworker is to let them know that your brain sometimes gets the idea about the specifics of their sex life.
Your thoughts are your own, and you can think about anything. Just keep it to yourself.
How loose you used to be
Your past can tell you too much about you. Because you did all sorts of stupid things years ago, people may well decide, without realizing it, that you are capable of doing the same stupid things now.
Even if you have grown up, and your views and behavior have long been consistent with all generally accepted norms, do not share questionable stories about drunk driving, petty theft and stupid fights with boys from the neighboring district.
Are you looking for another job
“When I was a child — shares the experience of his own careless behavior Bradberry — I told my basketball coach that I was leaving the team in 2 weeks.
For the next two weeks, I sat on a bench. It got even worse when 2 weeks later I decided to stay and turned into a guy “who doesn’t even want to be here”.
I was very upset, but it was my mistake, I voiced my decision without being sure about it.»
The same thing happens when you share your plans for finding a new job with your colleagues without having a real offer in your hands. As soon as you have declared this — you automatically become a person who is not worth spending more time on.
In addition, there is a chance that your attempts to find a new job will not be successful, so it is better to wait and keep your mouth shut until you actually find a job. Otherwise you will find yourself on the bench